October Ghosts Laid to Rest

The scariest specter of October 31st
haunts the following day when
pumpkins and ghastlies
lose all relevance,
bloody stickers are peeled from the floor,
costumes that jollied the fey party
fall apart,
yearn for the closet,
are dismantled and stored.

North Presbyterian is to move
to a smaller, more heatable space,
the old 1880 space
with hundred year old attendance records,
stained glass rose window hidden behind lock doors,
to be sold off and probably demolished,
a relic to yesteryear,
obsolete and not worth more than memories
in a world too fast and too broke
to care.

The FPC confirmation class visited North today,
helping cook, worship, serve and clean.
The service was held in the dining room,
as the church can no longer afford heating the
sanctuary
which as many as 50 years ago was
altered to hide the stained glass
to save on heat.

The heart breaks
when the clock changes the day
and the new day brings new realities.
Leaves need to be raked,
compost needs to be churned,
prepped for winter,
the worms given warm, deep and delicious feed,
though they'll freeze anyway.

And in time we'll all freeze,
though we adjust our realities,
stave off that day,
and celebrate the saints
who work tirelessly to
hold the ghosts at bay.

EAEP: An Epithalamium April 18, 2009

E, I am honored and delighted you have determined
my request for your hand in marriage merits a "yes."

I know you don't understand why I must place this in verse,
but the ages demand it be so.
Ergo:

EAEP,
enter into this place
us
that has never existed until we met,
and yet has always existed,
waiting for the time that was right.
Take my hand,
part the veil,
let us each take the hand of the one
who will accompany us to eternity.

I choose you to make this vow --
in full knowledge that other vows were tragically rent --
because I see in you a maturity
of love, and comfort, and purpose.
In the realms of sin, I see purity:
In Lust, I see Chastity
Instead of Gluttony, you show Temperance
Instead of Greed, Charity is your nature
Instead of Sloth, you ARE Diligence
Instead of Wrath, your Patience precedes you
Instead of Envy, your Kindness overflows
Instead of Pride, your Humility shines.

We have both lost loved ones since being together,
Anne and Jack and William Wise,
and our comforting each other
speaks to our love for all living things.

Like the maiden's body unknown to man,
let this vespers wedding be unsullied
by rites of spring,
history or tradition,
artifice of age,
those who think they know what lies in our heart,
women or men who would be maids,
sisters and brothers,
lest they foist upon us
gown and veil and tux and cake,
flower guy, ring maid...


And so it shall.
We hold our tongues to vow our nuptials
before God and daughter and sister and brother and
pastor and priest and organist and piper,
and elope --
willing none know 'til the email,
lest they judge, plan, whine, gnash their teeth
at lack of participation.

You seek power over your destiny
pushed from your family nest
forced to choose to thrive
beyond abusive dad
and poor dear mom.

All this I see through your bridal veil --
the face within
the girl at the core
the woman in charge
the multi-layered you
who I seek to know
and thrill to spiral with
through trial of will
scorn of the outside world --
while I touch your face the way your mother soothed.

What led me to you --
beyond the wish to grow with you
to learn networking and focus and exercise
you find so natural --
to share reading and poetry and relaxation
I find so natural --
beyond your yin to my yang --
beyond those white pants ;-)

Your gentleness with my daughter,
your love of learning and laughter,
your focus and drive for making the world
and northeast Ohio
better for the future:
closer to Eden,
closer to Godliness.


At 40 plus (spoken for myself!)
we're well within high school wishes (forever!)
but beyond high school expectations.
We know the frugality we both
crave is practiced,
humility in spades,
our respective participation
at churches parallels.
We're full of hope
love,
cope well with anger (or help the other),
and work our charity for others.

So join me at the head of the aisle
before God and our earthly witnesses
to make this partnership legal --
to sing
worship
vow
sup
and get on with nudging the world
and practice singing, "Hallelujah!"

Love,

GHL

WWL March 13, 1960 to March 2, 2009
Interment March 30, 2009
United States Military Academy
West Point, New York

The Best Kept Secret

Bill,
when I stand up here
over you lying down there,
I feel breathless and unable to speak --
tongue bound against words useful and purposeful
because your departure seems evidence that
life is empty --
that someone who worked 10,000 times harder
in your 48 years
than I will ever in, praise God, 50 or 60 or 70
could --
and I refuse to believe in you throwing it all away--
be so struck in the gut by our genes.

I’ve heard of you tossing about after Dad died,
searching for meaning,
and not finding it,
and not finding it,
and not finding it,
at work,
at home,
in exercise,
in the bottle…

When you climb the mountain,
reaching the summit is disappointing
because you find that going down will actually be harder
than the ascent:
you have to face tomorrow.

In spite of Eric Idle’s
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.

In spite of John Donne’s
DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
… One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

In spite of Dylan Thomas’
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

I am not heartened --
In my heart of hearts I hear your voice
Saying “Why, why, why, did you…?”
Why did you what, Bill?
Who are you talking to?

Is it Dad – that boy Charles who grew into the man who would guide you in his way if not in the way you thought you needed?

Is it Mom – that girl Anne who needed the encouragement and praise her own father couldn’t reward her with, and so never knew how to show you, even though we all knew she was proudest of you, her Army man, her Microsoft man, her Seattle Dad of Charlie and Sally and Gus and Elizabeth.

Or is it some bête noir of your own, some deed that ate at you from deep within for which no grace of God could ever succor, for which you wrung your Lady Macbeth hands?

Or is it me?
The voice within me
that’s just a whisper now because I haven’t had the calamity strike
that opens the pit’s maw
into which you fell
and which lingers for us all?

Did you know that
not having searched for God,
our Uncle John calling himself
“an inactive Presbyterian for forty years,”
was probably his way of saying he didn’t know,
and he didn’t really care to ask?

I’m guessing you cared to ask.
And kept asking.
But some twist of logic
during whichever great life event
was the overpowering mountain,
the pitch dark, mind-engulfing forests,
that blinded you to the tree,
the gift,
your vibrant and growing family.

I don’t have the answer.
But I think I’ve found God’s final covenant
of everlasting and abiding love
that pierces the heaviest veil,
that penetrates the darkest valley,
that slices through the knottiest human entanglement.

Grace
is our mother’s arms,
is our father’s love.

Obituary for William Wise Landefeld, father, brother, soldier, businessman, 1960-2009

William Wise Landefeld, a father of four and former Microsoft executive, died on March 2 in Seattle . He was 48. The cause was sepsis complicating a chronic illness, said his brother, Seth Landefeld.

An executive with Microsoft from 1990 to 2006, Mr. Landefeld ultimately served as Vice President, leading the sweeping redesign of the company’s commercial and public sector licensing and pricing for all products. These efforts converted Microsoft’s licensing from sale of one-time perpetual licenses to a more predictable subscription-based program – a corporate strategy that greatly increased revenues but was not without controversy among purchasers. In other roles with Microsoft, Mr. Landefeld managed international investments, directed finance in the far east, and managed business development for Europe, the Middle East, and Africa.

Mr. Landefeld was born on March 13, 1960, in Shaker Heights, Ohio. After playing soccer and ice hockey for Shaker Heights High School, he won appointment to and graduated in 1982 from United States Military Academy (West Point), where he was Captain, H1 Company and a “star man” in the top 5% of his class. He was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the Field Artillery branch in the United States Army and earned his Army Parachutist Badge at Fort Benning, Georgia. He was assigned to Fort Lewis, Washington, thence to the Republic of Korea. Mr. Landefeld rose to the rank of Captain and was honorably discharged in 1987. He received a Masters Degree in Business Administration in 1989 from the School of Business at Stanford University.

Mr. Landefeld was active in the Seattle community and served as a member of the Board of Trustees at the Villa School, which his four children attended. He was happiest when supporting his children in their activities and was also an avid triathlete, participating in events around the US.

Mr. Landefeld is survived by his four children, Charles Raymond, Sally Hooper, August Macmillan and Elizabeth Kreher, their mother Therese Haik Landefeld, his sister Leslie Anne Landefeld Snow, brothers Alexander Macrae Landefeld, Gordon Heard Landefeld, John Hooper Landefeld, Stewart Macmillan Landefeld, and Charles Seth Landefeld, and his devoted friend Moira Katheryn Delaney.

A service to celebrate Mr. Landefeld’s life will be held at 10:00 am on March 7, 2009 at the Chapel of St. Ignatius, Seattle University. In lieu of flowers, gifts in his memory may be made to the Seattle Foundation, for The William Wise Landefeld Memorial Fund for Seriously Ill Veterans, supporting veterans’ healthcare, 1200 Fifth Avenue, Suite 1300, Seattle, WA 98101-3151.

Mr. Landefeld's interment will occur at the United States Military Academy cemetery, in West Point, NY, March 30, 2009.

Down But Not

Out of that place,
where his and her memories
tremble and
beckon,
they push,
make the new challenge,
talk the meeting live,
cajole the customer back,
praise the office buddy
to uplift, and cherish, and seek the whole
that they left back before
that place
back there.

It will never be
the same way,
as the snowflake you eat can
never be repeated.
But after the fall, the winter,
comes the spring
with its shoots seeking
light,
and its roots
minerals
to turn water and air
into sugar and
growth.

The Quality of Their Character

Hillary or Barack?

Nevermind John,
the old
white
guy
who's Republican,

(their platform:
elevate rich people and corporations
over the middle American who
shoulders the tax burden;
reduce taxes;
create crippling deficit interest payments that'll
overshadow even defense spending,
and demonize the next President who
can't avoid raising taxes for everyone)

and the patron of our President
who has botched up
lives of people
within and beyond our borders
far more than any
could have imagined.

I told a service technician this morning that
today I will go place my vote
in the March 4 Ohio primary.
I will invoke a right not unlike the citizens of Iraq or Russia, but
wholly different
as America so far enjoys --
if the highest crime and imprisonment rates of the world --
no suicide bombers
no roadside bombs
and no prospect of an authoritarian regime like
the former Soviet Union or
Iran today.

This morning I told the service technician
Stephanie Tubbs Jones considers Hillary the right person,
in light of Martin Luther King Jr.'s
voiced dream of a future time when we'll
judge a person by the quality of their character,
not by the color of their skin.

That time is today, so
this morning I told this service technician
McCain or Clinton or Obama
could be strong leaders,
and I will cast my vote for the person
I think has the highest quality
character.

Don't Sweat Intolerable Visions

Progressive thinkers worldwide are aghast
that cartooning a religious figure
would be subject to
judicial censure.
And any well-meaning couple
can't get married and raise children.
And changing your mind
about your beliefs, while contrary,
isn't perfectly human.

Conservative thinkers male-wide, are aghast
that women would consider
their place to be both
in the house
and senate.
And a coat hanger isn't a perfectly
sensible way to choose.
And homophobia is even a word
(as anyone knows that LGBTs
are sick sick sick,
and just a little compassion and prayer
would return them to their roots).

Progressive thought suggests
while conservatives are a bit stiff,
no conversation
is complete
without two sides.

Conservative thought suggests
the conversation
is a monologue.

Let the conservatives battle
which of them are the apostates,
blasphemers, or heretics.
Let the rest of us

get on with progress.